A massage and a minor celebrity bump

This is not me. If it were, the bump would be a third bigger (maybe more), and I'd at least face the camera. This is Rachel Stevens, who is one week ahead of me and who I was half hoping might be in our NCT class. After all, the class is in Belsize Park and she lives in Primrose Hill, and S Club 7 aside, she's just a nice normal Jewish Princess who probably hangs out in the same places as the rest of the troupe. That was my train of thought when I read in the Mail that she was basically the same as me, pregnancy-wise.
But all thoughts of Rachel Stevens, and basically, anything half logical dropped out of my mind as I rushed towards Elemis in Lancashire Court yesterday evening for my first pregnancy massage. 'Yes, yes, yes, this is the end of the back pain,' was basically all that my mushing pregnancy brain could handle. I was excited beyond belief. And then I walked in, not looking my best, I hasten to add: it had been raining on the walk and my look yesterday was something close to pathetic. Anyway, who is standing paying at the till. Rachel Bloody Stevens. This rattled me on several levels.
Firstly, her bump is tiny, like weeny. I actually felt a bit bad for her. I mean you want to look pregnant by now, right?! She was there with her Mum, and was loving the rose oil capsules that her therapist had just used. Anyhoo, after listening to her wittle on, and being moved out of my comfy chair (onto something rigid and hard on my back) because RS had been sitting there, I decided that it would probably be better if she wasn't part of the NCT gang. Who wants to share their deepest, darkest, most panting moments with a celeb? Not me, I now realise.
Once Miss Stevens had left the building I was ushered upstairs to a cool, dark room and placed (sans clothes) on a very comfy set of beanbags. The therapist was good. Not amazing, but very soft and respectful. She worked on my Uber Knot and then told me that it was proably a trapped nerve. Nice. Today, I can report that the massage has done NOTHING to relief the tension. Mmm, maybe it is a trapped nerve. Now I just need to work out if Bupa cover chiropathy.