Bear Hamilton Pullen

Our darling sleeping son, always in our hearts.
29.11.10

The profile diaries - maybe the last entry?!

This is me yesterday. As you can see, the bump is taking over my entire being, but at least it's mostly fluid, or that's what the midwife said! I'm hoping the baby won't be too big, as I still want a natural water birth and clearly this isn't going to happen with a giant bubba!!! Anyway, in my mind natural sounds good, but who knows what will happen on the big day?!
Lots of 'psychic' friends, think it's going to be this week, but we fast running out of time, so I'm not sure if baby Pullen is in on the clairvoyant vibes. Maybe it's heard about the snow and doesn't want to get cold? And who can blame it. As long as I can still get to the hospital should it decide that snowy Saturday will be its day, then I'm happy.
This limbo time can be frustrating, but everyone is being so lovely that it's hard to get too annoyed. Friends have been calling from all over the world, and I feel very cared for and loved. I know this baby is going to be born into a big loving family that include parents (that's us, eek), grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles and lots of adopted family in the shape of our gorgeous friends. Thank you everyone for taking the time to check in and make us feel so special. Let's hope this is an appreciative baby Bear.

Impatience is a dish served with rice

Ok, so I haven't even reached my due date and I'm starting to get very itchy feet. I'm impatient by nature anyway, so this was always going to happen.
Generally, I'm fine, but there are moments when I feel like this baby won't ever come and that I'll be pregnant forever. Imagine that, actually, I'd rather not. I'm done with the big bump and the no sashimi - I want to meet this little Bear now and get our new look Pullen family ready for some fun!
We went for a curry last night, which is a total cliche and was a risk, because I didn't want to get any indigestion. Anyway, we walked there and ate like kings. It was delicious and lovely to be out just the two of us. I went all out and even had a beer. But nothing seemed to impress the Bear. I knew it wouldn't. Curries don't give me an upset tummy (the theory behind this old wives tale) but I enjoyed pigging out nonetheless.
I think part of the impatience is that one of my lovely NCT friends has already popped, even though she was due two days after me, and another friend, due two weeks after the Bear, is also already a Mummy, so things are moving, just not in my direction. It's a strange feeling. You urge the birth to hurry up, but then, that means pain, fear, the Big Unknown. And then after that, PARENTHOOD. It's impossible to imagine how any of this new events will feel, so although you're happy to move things along there are some other crazy emotions to get your head around too. DH is being great though. He understands how I feel and I know he'll drop everything the minute he gets my call, so I feel totally supported on that front.
Aside from impatience things are all good. The sun is shining and I'm loving getting out for my daily walks. I've done a big Ocado shop so that the house will be fully stocked, and all the washing is done. That means all I need to do now is enjoy myself and savour these last days of independence and peace and quiet!

Wow, I really have been blog-shy

I didn't realise that I hadn't blogged since last Tuesday. Me bad. The only thing I can blame is my doughy, stupid pregnancy brain - oh and laziness. Except, in many ways, I don't actually feel lazy at all. I've been going for some mammoth walks. Every day I'm out there with my big bottle of Evian pounding the parks of London. This is, of course, meant to bring on labour. And that's what I had in mind when I resolved to walk walk walk. But actually, seeing as the baby's head is already fully engaged, I don't really think it's doing much, except freeing my mind and giving me a beautiful, autumnal daily boost. It's lovely out there. Really, for a heavily pregnant woman, even when the weather looks decidedly average, walking, stretching and getting two lungs full of fresh air is actually a hell of a lot nicer than sitting on the couch - or traipsing around a shopping centre.
Today, I'm going to use my new walking enjoyment and replace an actual car journey with leg power. I'll report back on if I make it or not. I figure that once the baby arrives, I'll be walking heaps anyway, so I might as well start the training now.
So last night was a full moon. Back when I was young, impressionable and probably a tad on the emotional side, I used to find - or rather, my friends would inform me - that a full moon made me go a bit, well, gaga. Not in the avant-garde singer sense of the word, but in the moody, hysterical, hyperactive interpretation. Granted, the moon hasn't really had much of an impression on me since I've settled into work (seven years ago), a stable relationship and a loving little home. But that wasn't going to stop me hoping, on some very pie in the sky, kind of way, that it might, just this one time again, do something to my body. We are, after all, made up for something like 80 per cent water, and what with all the amniotic fluid too (of which, my midwife tells me, I have plenty) pregnant women are kind of like the sea - ready to be controlled by lunar phases and the like. So I waited, I looked hopefully up to the sky, and enjoyed the clear, bright night. But nothing. Not even a tinge.
That darn moon. You can rely on it to circle the earth in a perfect rhythm. But it won't get this little baby to budge.

The Nursery - before and after

Ok, so I've taken my 'before' and 'after' shots from different angles, but you get the idea. Previously, this room was rather bland and white. Now, after some painting fun, a long chair dilemma and several (hundred) trips to John Lewis, we are nearly there. I think the room looks cosy and warm, as well as being unisex and colourful. But then I would say that, I'm kind of biased. It's been great fun putting all the bits together, and obviously, I'm not done yet. I still have a big, modern photo-family tree to organise (it will hang above the chest of drawers), plus I need to buy some toys and do that kind of stuff, but for the moment, I think we're nearly there.
Oh, actually, we have a brilliant orange pigeon night-light that needs putting up (hint hint DH). You can just see my handyman on the floor getting busy in the first photo. He doesn't want his face on the blog until the Bear arrives. He's a mysterious fella, but I love him so much and can't wait to meet the baby that we've made together. Come on Bear, your room is ready....

I know, I'm a slacker

An amusing picture to show how the bump has now completely engulfed my body - although contrary to first impressions it hasn't actually turned my bust neon pink. That was a game, at my baby shower. Aren't my girls hilarious (!).
So here I am - showered, in both senses of the word - and ready to rumble. Mentally, I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be and baby has it's head right down and fully engaged. This sounds extremely promising (the midwife couldn't actually find the head - that wasn't promising - but her senior came and felt it down in my pelvis, phew, the baby has a head), but you can actually be fully engaged for several weeks, so don't pop the champagne just yet.
Anyway, I'm walking as much as my heavy pelvis allows and I'm having a lovely time meeting friends and family and generally being a lady of leisure. Stupidly, I've just upgraded my phone, so am now totally un-contactable for 24 hours while things transfer over. This probably wasn't the brightest idea I've ever had. I mean what happens if I need to get DH tomorrow and he isn't on email.... mmm, didn't actually think about that when I saw my lovely new iPhone 4. Ooops.
Actually, I had my appointment today at the birth centre and a woman was labouring as I was being examined. I couldn't hear her or anything, but the midwife told me, and it made everything rather, er, REAL. Then I saw a woman who had given birth yesterday. She looked pretty good actually, that gave me a bit of confidence. Eeek, you can be ready but you can never be ready, hmm, I suppose that's what adrenaline is for!

Thinking about my hospital 'look' (well, seriously, what else do I have to occupy my mind?)

I wouldn't actually be wasting my time thinking about what I'm going to wear post-birth, if it hadn't been for that lovely PR at Blossom Mother and Child. She somehow found that I'm on maternity leave and emailed to invite me to come in and see the store. I thought why not, again, it's not like my days are jammed packed at the moment. Anyway, it turns out that it was well worth my while as she piled me up with garb for those post-baby days when I'll constantly need to whip my boob out, will be hot and sweaty, probably feeling like total rubbish, but at least wanting to put on a calm, attractive front.
So now I have this nightie, which seems a bit crazy (I mean, to me, tracksuit pants are always the best option when you're not feeling your best), but she assured me that I'll be far too hot in the hospital and this one clips down to make breastfeeding easy. She also gave me some matching, ribboned knickers which I thought was pretty hilarious, as I'm clearly going to Primark to buy their cheapest, plainest 5-pack, but she was insistent. Added to that I got, a strange vest top contraption that sucks in your tummy but has the breastfeeding clips, plus a really nice knitted tracksuit. All in all, I'm a very spoilt Mummy-to-be.
It's such a funny time this pre-baby, off work month. I don't feel like I'm in the fed up get this baby out frame of mind (yet), actually, I still, in many ways, don't believe that a baby will ever come out. It's hard to get your head around, even this late in the game. But everyone else who is pregnant now has a baby, so I know, if I think rationally, there'll be a baby here very soon.
It's nursery is looking good. I just need to hang a few pictures and then I'll post a picture. It is all cosy and soft, and will be perfect for a boy or a girl, which is quite a feat, let me tell you.
Anyway, despite saying I have nothing much on in the day, I do actually have a lunch date with another preggo and her pip, so I must sign off. A big Gail's sandwich is calling and who am I to ignore such an attractive offer?!